All Posts Tagged With: "sex"

From the ABA Journal:

A federal government office charged with overseeing the collection of some $4 billion in royalty payments by oil companies to the U.S. government allegedly operated more like an out-of-control fraternity than a regulatory agency.

Sex, booze, drugs and parties among federal employees and representatives of the oil companies they were overseeing contributed to a ”culture of substance abuse and promiscuity” at the Denver, Colo., office of the U.S. Interior Department’s Minerals Management Service, a $5.3 million investigation found. Meanwhile, there is concern that some 13 current and former employees in Denver and Washington, D.C., may also have been improperly influenced by gifts including sports tickets, golf outings and ski trips, according to the Associated Press and Washington Post.

You know, stories like this convince me that we desperately need a strong, conservative Christian president that represents our family values in the White House — oh, wait a minute… the current occupant (for the last eight years) was supposed to be a strong, conservative Christian president that represented our family values. You mean, this happened under the “Christian” president’s administration? Oh my!

Men will find any excuse to take the magic blue pill:

Athletes looking for a performance boost are increasingly turning to a little blue pill more usually taken for its off-the-field benefits: Viagra.

It gives a whole new meaning to “getting up” for a race, match, game, etc., and will have people wondering if athletes’ use of Viagra will make the competition “stiffer.”

Originally intended to treat pulmonary hypertension, the unexpected side effects gave this little blue pill a whole new mission in life — helping men “get it up.” The drug helps blood vessels expand and theoretically “allow blood cells to travel to the lungs more efficiently and to also receive more oxygen.

Experts are unclear if taking Viagra really gives any advantage.

Athletes taking Viagra might hope that the drug will expand their already normal-sized vessels to give them extra lung capacity. But some experts say that’s unlikely.

One scientist hypothesized that any improvements in performance by athletes taking Viagra could be due to improved performance in their sex lives.

“It could be that athletes are taking Viagra and then having vigorous sexual activity,” said Dr. Gerard Varlotta, director of sports rehabilitation at New York University’s Rusk Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine. Varlotta doubted that Viagra itself could improve an athletes’ performance.

“If athletes are euphoric after sex after taking Viagra, they may be euphoric about their athletic endeavors,” Varlotta said. “That may make them a better athlete.”

There you have it. Scientific proof that everything still boils down to sex… and more of it. Hmmm, maybe I could improve my performance at work with…

“If athletes are euphoric after sex after taking Viagra, they may be euphoric about their athletic endeavors,” Varlotta said. “That may make them a better athlete.”

A victory for men everywhere! Science has proven that our bad behavior is really the fault of women’s sexy bods!

You may have known this all along, but now it has been demonstrated scientifically: bikinis make men stupid.

This month’s issue of the Journal of Consumer Research features a paper titled “Bikinis Instigate Generalized Impatience in Intertemporal Choice,” which is a neuroeconomist’s (definition in a moment) way of saying that men don’t make good decisions while checking out pretty girls in bikinis.

Honey, it’s not my fault I act so crazy around you!