Satire

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

From my email inbox:

Dear Fellow Constituent,

The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include:

• The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
• The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.
• The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t even have to show up.
• The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.
• The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.
• The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
• The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling. Continued
  
  Tags: donations, George W. Bush, Jack Abramoff, Legacy, letter, political humor, political satire, Politics, presidential library

Steve Young says there are too many lingering questions about Barack Obama’s eligibility for the presidency.

If Obama continues to ignore these questions, lawsuits over his eligibility threaten to tie up the courts for years, leaving us leaderless — which, as the past eight years have shown, can be very messy.

Here are just a few potential legal challenges to Obama’s presidential legitimacy:

Electoral College accreditation. Obama cannot be elected because no nationally recognized accrediting agency has determined the Electoral College to be reliably accredited under the Higher Education Act of 1965.

Age requirement. Even if Obama was born in the United States, with no legitimate birth certificate, how do we know for sure that he is not 28 years old? I mean, just look at him. 46? Yeah, right.

Traffic hazard. With predictions of record turnout for his inauguration, which would hamper emergency vehicles and equipment in the greater Washington area, the Obama presidency constitutes a public-safety hazard.

Jobs program: Hundreds of crazed ideologues who have been working diligently to keep a duly elected president out of the White House could be forced to seek gainful employment if Obama is inaugurated, further swelling the ranks of the unemployed.

Electoral quid pro quo. Obama entered into a tacit arrangement with a co-conspiratorial segment of the public whereby, if they were to contribute sufficient votes to his candidacy, Obama agreed to become their president.

Chicago taint. Rod Blagojevich, William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, Tony Rezko, the ‘68 Democratic convention, Al Capone, the Black Sox Scandal, Mrs. O’Leary’s cow - and we’ll close with “25 or 6 to 4.” Come on, there’s got to be something there!

Court of final appeal. In the absence of Supreme Court certification, review and relief sought from TV’s Judge Judy.

The Onion reports:

WASHINGTON—In an unexpected judicial turnaround, the Supreme Court this week reversed its 2000 ruling in the landmark case of Bush v. Gore, stripping George W. Bush of his earlier political victory, and declaring Albert Arnold Gore the 43rd president of the United States of America.

The court, which called its original decision to halt manual recounts in Florida “a ruling made in haste,” voted unanimously on Wednesday in favor of the 2000 Democratic nominee.

Gore will serve as commander in chief from Dec. 10 to Jan. 20.

“Allowing this flaw in judgment to stand would set an unworkable precedent for future elections and cause irreparable harm to the impartiality of this court,” said Chief Justice John G. Roberts in his majority opinion. “Furthermore, let me be the first to personally congratulate President Gore on his remarkable come-from-behind victory. May he guide us wisely into this new millennium.” … continued »

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Better late than never, right?

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