Can't Help But Laugh

Perhaps this wasn’t the best choice for in-flight entertainment…

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Jesus-inspired brawling?

JERUSALEM - Israeli police rushed into one of Christianity’s holiest churches Sunday and arrested two clergyman after an argument between monks erupted into a brawl next to the site of Jesus’ tomb.

I was sent an email at work a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to share but couldn’t because of ethical and legal obligations, since it was being sent between attorneys and I happened to be on the recipient list. However, now that it’s made its away around the Internet, I can share it here because it’s now public domain.

A Houston-area legal blogger provides a brief background…

This is the content of a real letter sent by a frustrated Ike victim and Houston lawyer. He was writing to a Dallas lawyer who didn’t get that there are some moments you cut people some slack —like when a Cat. II hurricane turns their lives upside down.

… I spoke to the lawyer who sent it, who didn’t intend to subject his client to public scrutiny. I had some damage on my house, too, so I, being from Houston, will indeed cut the guy some slack and not print his name, law firm or his client’s name. I’m even cutting the Dallas lawyer who wouldn’t readily agree to a continuance some slack and not naming him either.

Here’s the letter with the names left off (courtesy of Mary Flood):

September 26, 2008
Dear (Dallas lawyer):

I am sorry that a hurricane hit Houston.

I am sorry that I had no power or water at my house as a result of the hurricane.

I am sorry that CenterPoint Energy did not bend more quickly to your desires and restore power to my home so that I could return to it sooner.

I am sorry that upon returning to my home on Monday, September 22, 2008, I discovered a roughly 50 ft. x 6 ft. swath of human excrement, used condoms, and all other niceties that come with a raw sewage leak in one’s backyard which drains into one of the main bayous in Houston.

I am sorry that that I had to threaten City of Houston officials with lawsuits and local news exposure in order to get them to even agree to meet with me about cleaning up the problem.

I am sorry that that these city officials chose a date that interfered with our deposition and gave me no other options.

I am sorry that the Houston Public Works Department had to use a fire hose to blow human feces out of my yard on the day our deposition was scheduled.

I am sorry that the city required my presence at the debacle noted immediately above. And, I am sorry that this debacle managed to uproot some more of my trees.

I am sorry that your office communicated that you would only “agree” to my rescheduling the deposition if we agreed to pay your travel expenses. I am also sorry they did not mention anything about attorney’s fees in your voicemail. I am especially sorry that your associate, after I agreed to pay your reasonable travel expenses, decided to put in writing that while the deposition was cancelled it was “unilaterally canceled,” and that you did not “agree” to the cancellation. I am sorry that you either went back on your word or, more likely, just do not have a word.

I am sorry that you think the judge should be involved in this matter. I wonder if the judge will be sorry about that, too.

I am sorry that you are the only lawyer in this case that consistently goes out of his way to be unaccommodating and unprofessional with the other lawyers. I am sorry you are from Dallas.

Very truly yours,
(Signed by Houston lawyer)

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If you do a search, you can find the letter in its original form.

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Fill in the blank…

The ____________ uses crises, real or manufactured, to expand the power of government at the expense of the individual and private property. He has spent, in earnest, 70 years evading the Constitution’s limits on governmental power. If ________________ don’t stand up to this, who will? If they don’t offer serious alternatives that address the current circumstances AND defend the founding principles, who will?

And the correct answers (as intended by the original author) are Continued

Here’s a scam email that I get fairly often. It’s no more believable than the Nigerian scam, but the story is a little more interesting. What I wonder is how successful this and others like it are? Somebody must be doing it if these continue so persistently.

FROM: Mr. HE Guangbei.
(VICE CHAIRMAN & EXECUTIVE OFFICER)
Bank of China Limited
Hong Kong
YOUR ATTENTION
You might be apprehensive because you do not know me but I have a business proposal of mutual interest to share with you. Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr.HE Guangbei, Vice Chairman and Chief Executive with overall responsibility for the business and operations of Bank of China ( Hong Kong ) Limited (”BOCHK”). I have a Business suggestion for you.In October, 2002, my late client Ghazi Musa Hassan, an Iraqi Crude oil  merchant made a numbered fixed deposit of Thirty million, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$30,500,000.00) only in my branch. Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even during the war (U.S and Iraqi war), Five years ago (2003). Continued

Tags: Bank of China, email, email scam, Hong Kong, scam, scam email

The New York Times reports on the rules governing the upcoming debates. While the format for the presidential debates should prove more interesting than the over-structured debates of previous election cycles, the vice presidential debate will apparently be a “dumbed down” version…

At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the Oct. 2 debate between the Republican nominee for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, and her Democratic rival, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. There will also be much less opportunity for free-wheeling, direct exchanges between the running mates.

McCain advisers said they had been concerned that a loose format could leave Ms. Palin, a relatively inexperienced debater, at a disadvantage and largely on the defensive.

The wrangling was chiefly between the McCain-Palin camp and the nonpartisan Commission on Presidential Debates, which is sponsoring the forums.

Commission members wanted a relaxed format that included time for unpredictable questioning and challenges between the two vice-presidential candidates. On Wednesday, the commission unanimously rejected a proposal sought by advisers to Ms. Palin and Senator John McCain of Arizona, the Republican presidential nominee, to have the moderator ask questions and the candidates answer, with no time for unfettered exchanges. Advisers to Mr. Biden say they were comfortable with either format.

Andrew Sullivan objects:

Are you fucking kidding me? We are now rigging the debate formats to compensate for a know-nothing, mendacious Manchurian candidate drilled in meaningless talking points? And the Obama team agreed to this? And so did the press?

Just think. She wants to be vice president and could become president if something were to happen to a would-be President McCain, but their campaign is worried about Mrs. Palin having to face unpredictable questions and challenges? This campaign just keeps getting “better” and “better.”

A non-sensical commenter from yesterday who was responding to a post of mine from 10 weeks ago says that it’s obvious.

There are none so blind as he who will not see!
That’s you.
You dont even have to be a believer in God, Jesus, buddha or any other religion to know evil when it shows its ugly head.
Muslim is the anti-christ, obamas just a soldier of alla.
His people believe hes a muslim. the muslims consider him a muslim. Who exactly are you trying to convince he isnt muslim? and why?

Well, there’s a website that says it can answer this very important question: “Is Barack Obama a Muslim?”

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P.S. Note to Van Gard — People might take you more seriously if you could spell, punctuate or even incorporate actual facts and truths into your argument.

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Can you really be in touch with the average American if you don’t even know how many homes you own? I can easily count how many I own — ONE!

Courtesy Politico, here’s what happens when spellcheck goes terribly awry in an AP wire story…

CHICAGO - Presidential candidate John moccasin on Sunday endorsed a proposal to ban affirmative action programs in his home state, a policy that Democratic rival Barrack Abeam called a disappointing embrace of divisive tactics. In the past, moccasin has criticized such ballot initiatives.