My not-so-excellent adventure

Let me first say that I hate traffic. My blood pressure has to jump by more than 25 points automatically when hitting rush hour traffic — and that’s before I encounter the inevitable idiots, morons and just-plain-mean drivers. This morning’s commute proved to be much more “exciting” than I ever wanted … and not the good kind of excitement, but rather the heart-pounding, adrenaline-rushing, gut-wrenching, fear-filled kind of excitement. By the time I got out of my car when I arrived downtown, I felt completely drained and my stomach still churning in knots.

But let me back up first and give you a little background. For the last seven plus years, up until I started my new position at the beginning of this year, I was my own boss and could set my own hours. I typically drove to work early in the morning, anywhere from 4:30 to 5:30 a.m. Traffic was perfect then. Even along the major highways, I typically was one of only a handful of cars on the road within sight of each other. In the afternoon, it was quite a bit busier, but I would still try to leave work before 4:30 p.m. to beat the peak rush hour traffic in the afternoon and finish up any work from my home office. It certainly was better on my heart and helped me keep my blood pressure at reasonable levels, even good levels for a man of my size. I didn’t really have to deal too much with the craziest, rudest and dangerous of drivers because we would all be moving at a decent speed and everyone seems to be more reasonable when we’re not being inconvenienced.

Well, starting last December, as I was transitioning into my new job, I was suddenly faced with a new reality — a stress-filled, painstakingly slow commute to and from work during the peak rush hours. As the flow of traffic slows to a crawl, people become more impatient, which leads to them becoming increasingly irritated, frustrated and even disturbed. I have to admit that I find myself among the impatient and irritated when traffic is moving at a snail’s pace without any real logical reason and because some people aren’t paying attention and don’t keep up and— well, I could go on and on, but then my heart rate would increase even more and my blood pressure go up even more just thinking and talking about it. On occasion, I might blurt out an “inadvertent” expletive to another driver, but they surely can’t hear me with my windows rolled up and their windows rolled up and everyone one’s radios blaring. But, I don’t rise to the level of disturbance that some drivers do, who become incredibly aggressive, mean-spirited and dangerous.

This morning, I encountered one such disturbed driver. As I was minding my own business, moving through traffic like I normally do on southbound Broadway Extension, I made the mistake of moving into the next lane, which the aforementioned driver was moving into as well. Mind you, she was quite a bit behind me in this lane (we hadn’t reached the congested area just yet) when I moved over. What I didn’t realize is that she owned that lane and I had just committed an egregious violation of her space. That was my first mistake.

She sped up, caught up to me and started riding my rear bumper, at times less than half a car length behind me — and at 60mph, that’s pretty darn close. She was flashing her lights at me, gesturing wildly through her front windshield (which included many fervent displays of her middle digit) and weaving wildly behind me. As we started approaching slowing traffic, I made my second mistake: I tapped my brakes, hoping she would clue in to the fact that she needed to back off or we would be involved in a fender bender before we knew it. That sent her over the edge.

As we hit the congestion and were then moving at less than half of our original speed and still slowing down, she moved over to the lane to the right of me and slowly passed me. Her gesturing became more crazed and emphatic (which I didn’t think could possibly be more demonstrative than her earlier antics — but was). She didn’t speed on, which she could have since she was in such a damn hurry. No, instead, she wanted me to know how wrong I was and how pissed she was. She did her best to match my speed, but was driving just ahead of me so that her rear bumper was about even with my front bumper. Realizing that she was going to try to cut in front of me to slam on her brakes, I kept a very close distance between me and the vehicle in front of me. She kept weaving across the center line between the lanes like she was going to either hit me or force her way in so that I would slam into her when she hit her brakes.

At this point, my heart is pumping. I don’t know what kind of crazy person I’ve just crossed paths with, but I certainly wish I had left a few minutes earlier or later this particular morning. With each passing moment, I’m trying to focus on the thick traffic we were in while watching this crazed lady doing her best to try to wreck us both. My adrenaline was really pumping and my legs were beginning to shake a bit — I’m not afraid to admit that I was a little afraid about what might happen.

The vehicle that was in front of me then moved over into her lane in front of her, which caused her to brake and move backwards enough that she couldn’t cut in front of me. I quickly moved up closely behind the semi trailer that was now in front of me. Once the other vehicle moved on, she went back to being in the same spot trying to squeeze in where there wasn’t room. I could have given her the space to move in, but I knew that based on the way she was driving she was going to slam on her brakes as soon as she moved in front of me and we were close enough together that we would have collided.

Finally, there was an opening to the lane to the left of me and I moved over. The semi was now between me and the crazy lady. I could see under the semi trailer that she was now speeding around the semi. I thought that I was finally rid of her, but alas she wasn’t done trying to kill us both. She quickly dashed in front of the semi and proceeded to resume her quest to force herself in front of me. At this point, the traffic was thick enough and slow enough that I was boxed in. She was acting crazy enough that I wasn’t quite sure what to do, and I certainly wasn’t sure what she was capable of doing. I felt that if she got in front of me that she could stop altogether, I would be boxed in and a confrontation could occur. I was trying to avoid this at all costs. I may be a big man, but a big man can’t stop a crazy lady with a weapon, whether it’s a knife, gun or 2,000-pound Honda Civic.

I thought I caught a break when her lane suddenly slowed down and she didn’t have time to force her way into my lane. I moved passed her and ahead of her. From my review mirror, I saw that she eventually worked her way back over to the far right lane, which was an exit-only lane that led to an exit ramp to I-44 westbound. What I didn’t see was that she never exited onto the exit ramp, but continued on the shoulder until that “lane” turned back into another exit-only lane. All of a sudden, I see her cut in front of the car next to me and cut right in front of me. Both lanes were now stopped due to the traffic congestion and she was now sitting an angle in front of me; the person next to me looked bewildered and I kept waiting for her door to open.

Traffic started moving again and she straightened her car out, then proceeded to roll down her window and continue to express herself with rude gestures. She waited for me to start moving again — I couldn’t change lanes and there was no shoulder to my left, only about a couple of feet of space between my vehicle and the center line cement barrier — and then she slammed on her brakes. Since I was prepared for this, I was far enough behind her and had my foot already on the brake that it didn’t take much to stop well behind her. She then weaved her car wildly back and forth in the lane and then waited for me to come closer. When I was close enough that she thought she could make her point, she slammed on her brakes again. This went on for the next mile or so, which took about 5 or more minutes to traverse. I kept allowing for more and more distance between her and me. The people behind and next to me didn’t seem to mind either because they saw how crazy she was driving. Nobody dared to pull between her and me.

Eventually traffic picked up speed as we moved past the construction area. I lagged behind and she was in enough of a hurry that she eventually moved on.

I snapped a couple of photos with my iPhone, but that was hard to do and get a good picture when I was trying to drive in dense traffic with an out-of-control dangerous driver in front of me. I thought about including one of those pictures here, but I didn’t want somebody who might happen across this site to recognize the car and call her. Who knows what kind of craziness that might have unleashed? With my picture and info about me on the blog and all over the internet, I suddenly felt quite vulnerable. I decided that I would just share my experience — as a therapeutic release for my shaken nerves — without specifically identifying the aggressor.

But it made me reflect a little on human nature and on my own responses to situations like these. First, I know that I’ll be even more cognizant of how my actions and behavior impact others, and I will certainly be much more cautious about crossing paths with people who seem to be on the war path.

Secondly, it distresses me somewhat just how easily we seem to devolve into savages when put behind the wheel. People act in ways while they are driving that they wouldn’t dare act if they were face to face with people around them. It seems that when we are in our car, many of us feel invulnerable and become much less intolerant of those around us. And rush hour traffic seems to bring out the absolute worst in people — some to the point of insanity in their disproportionate reactions to otherwise insignificant annoyances. I see more vociferous reactions in traffic lines than I do in crowd lines. Why is that? Because we feel relatively safe within the confines of our car which gives us a false bravado to act in ways we wouldn’t act in other social situations outside of our car.

I also think that rush hour traffic is a major stressor for many of us. Different people react differently to stresses in their lives. I heard a speaker one time say that stress often forces out those hidden and suppressed character flaws within us, much like inebriation reduces those necessary inhibitions that rightfully suppress our foolishness and tactlessly brutal honesty. That stress can often expose the meanness and ugliness that lurks within us. I see that often in traffic-related situations. And I definitely saw it today.

So, to the lady driver whom I apparently offended so awfully this morning, I humbly and sincerely apologize for upsetting you so. Even so, was it worth putting us all at risk? Honestly.

Fortunately, I doubt she’ll be making the return trip at the same time I will be this evening — at least I hope she won’t be. I’ll be on alert regardless.

To quote the iconic patrol sergeant on my favorite Hill Street Blues, “Hey… let’s be careful out there.”